October 10, 2024
Have you ever been in a place where you were forced to be truly dependent? A place where you had no autonomy or choice over where you slept, what you ate, what job you worked? A place where, simultaneously, people drove on the other side of the road, said hello in a different language, and ate food you’ve never heard of?
The thing about the refugee experience is that unless you’ve really lived it, it’s hard to identify with. I can recall moments during short periods of my life where I’ve absolutely been uncomfortable on the other side of the world. Like the time when my luggage got lost for 10 days in India, and I was forced to rely on the kindness of travel companions and locals for clothing, bedding and food. Or, instead of the convenience of running water, I carried water back to the African village we were staying in so we could cook and drink.
I’ve known discomfort, sure.
But I haven’t truly lived it. Because none of those trips were my entire reality – I knew there was always an end in sight. There was always a return ticket purchased. I had chosen to go abroad, and I was choosing to return. I had full autonomy and had willfully made the choice to surrender to whatever schedule, whatever cuisine, whatever job was asked of me. For a brief period of time, I chose dependence.
But I don’t know the reality of having that be my every day for the rest of my life. I don’t know how it feels to never get to purchase that return ticket home. I don’t know how it feels to say goodbye to a loved one and wonder if I’ll ever see them again. I don’t know what it’s like to know my life, or my families’ life, is truly in jeopardy if I stay.
And because so many of us haven’t lived it, I fear we can too easily forget it. Because it isn’t something that most of us have experienced, and God-willing, won’t experience… we pass by strangers in the store who are living this as their reality today and don’t think twice about it.
Today, thousands and thousands of people are living in Columbia, Missouri who have journeyed here from all over the world. They left because they had to. They don’t have a return ticket home – many of them never will. This is their new home.
I think our other assumption is that America is comfortable, that it’s more desirable to be here than anywhere else in the world. But what if it’s not? I fear we forget how uncomfortable “different” can feel. I fear we forget what it’s like to not know the language, the culture, the social norms. I worry that many of us don’t care.
I fear we expect everyone else to conform to our own expectations and norms and that those quickly become the pulse for “right” and “wrong”. But what if we’re wrong?
What if, in forging ahead and forgetting, we find ourselves in a world primarily concerned with only the things we have known – unwilling to think beyond ourselves and our limited experiences…? If we choose to live this one life with our eyes and hearts closed to things (people!) beyond what we decide is “comfortable”… I fear we miss out.
We all lose when our perspective is too limited.
We all lose when we forget.
Open your eyes! Open your heart!
Remember what it’s like not to know… remember what it felt like when someone reached out, when you had nowhere else to go.
City of Refuge is forging ahead, determined to remember. To help us all remember.
Every single day, there are people in our city who are facing a lifetime of a new reality. People who don’t have a ticket home.
Let’s help make Columbia their home. It won’t look the same, be the same, feel the same… but love and kindness transcend culture, language, and differences.
We all win when our perspective grows.
We all win when we remember.
Love wins.
Debbie Beal
Executive Director
Join us at our Sip and Shop event on Thursday October 24th. Shop high end designers at City Boutique and get some of the first tastes of City Cuisine!
