Thanks Beyond Words

Every day at City of Refuge, gratitude shows up in powerful ways – relieved smiles, heartfelt thanks and even shared meals. This week, Barry Stoll shares some of the ways he witnesses thanks and giving in the lives of our refugee neighbors.

It wasn’t just the words “thank you” that made me realize how grateful “Sam” was for the help he received that day, standing outside the courthouse. 

On top of being in an accident (not his fault), he was charged with driving without insurance. This is scary for anyone, let alone a refugee who barely speaks our language, has no idea what all that insurance lingo means, and is unfamiliar with our legal system. We just needed to show the prosecutor that Sam actually did have coverage at the time, which we did, and the charge was dropped. 

A fairly simple matter for you and I – a daunting mountain of a task for a refugee. 

But it wasn’t just the words “thank you.” It was the look of relief on his face and his earnest offer to buy me lunch that reminded me how important the work is that we do every single day. So many of us at City of Refuge hear heartfelt “thank you’s” on a regular basis—along with hugs, smiles, and sometimes tears. There are few better feelings in life.

“Thank you” for teaching me English, for teaching me to drive, for helping me to develop a business, for setting up my doctor appointment, blessing me with these basic needs items, getting me a job, an apartment, a car, helping me pass the citizenship test, loving on my kids in preschool. Or “Thank you” for just letting me sit and talk to you about my life and being my friend. 

The list is seemingly endless. 

We’ve heard gratitude expressed about higher level things as well. Like simply being given a chance to be alive and to live life in safety. I’ll never forget when I asked a new refugee from Congo what he thought about America. He said he was grateful that when he wakes up in the morning, there’s no one trying to kill him. 

Others have expressed deep gratitude for living in a place where there is rule of law, hospital care without having to pay cash up front, no risk of starvation, torture. Things that we ordinary Americans haven’t experienced and rarely think to give thanks for in the prayers we pray before our huge Thanksgiving feasts. 

Gratitude goes full circle here at City of Refuge, and undoubtedly among all the volunteers, neighbors, employers, artisans and customers who realize how fortunate we are to have refugee folks among us. They bring so much color, diversity, and celebration into our communities, and they teach us aspects of their cultures that add value to our own. They are great examples of hard-work ethic, resilience, and determination. Many of their traditions include frequent celebrations, and the general community togetherness that we sometimes lack in our culture. 

Just one example: in certain Burmese cultures, when a loved one passes away, the whole community rallies and surrounds the family, literally camping out in their home for a week. They cook large amounts of food, take up collections for financial help, pray, and sing songs. I have witnessed this multiple times, and it is incredible. It softens the immediate blow of losing a loved one and lets the grieving family know they are not alone. 

Our hearts are full of gratitude. Thank you to everyone reading this, and to all of you who have supported, befriended, volunteered, and brought hope to our refugee friends. 

And thank you, refugees, for being here and changing our lives for the better.

Barry Stoll
Director of Refugee Care

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