A Friend to Come Alongside

Each day, our team has the pleasure of getting to walk alongside and build lasting relationships with those that we exist to serve. Lori Stoll, who began this work many years ago, has seen friends through various life stages, joys, and challenges. She recounts her experience with one friend recently:

I was waiting in the hospital clinic with my friend, Sara, a refugee from a war-torn country in Asia.

We were able to catch up about family and events that had transpired in the last few months. Our friendship has deepened recently with the discovery that she has stage 4 cancer. Her journey has included chemo and radiation. She had become an expert in navigating doctor appointments, as her treatments were often daily. Nausea and pain have been her constant companions. I had helped her apply for disability and the support has helped with the gas for her car and special food that she can eat.

Today, we are finding out the results of her tests and the cancer diagnosis. 

As we share photos, I hear of a deep love and connection to family that have remained in the refugee camp. Her grandmother recently passed. She shared pictures of the funeral ceremony and of family who were able to attend. Sara’s grandmother left behind her husband of 70 plus years, and now he has no one in the camp to look after him. I asked about her grandfather and what will happen to him now. She wasn’t sure…the food has become very scarce as aid has stopped coming to their camp. He receives a handful of rice each day without vegetables or fruit or even the peppers that used to relieve the pangs of hunger. I was overwhelmed with what Sara has to bear on top of her cancer. 

As we were talking, she received a phone call from a local friend who I also know very well. His story is similar; multiple health issues, a child with autism, so little command of the English language. Health issues have prevented him from attending school or other means to learn. His son has severe autism and the constant vigilance for his safety consumes their every moment at home. His responsibilities include elderly in-laws that require frequent doctor visits and care. This man calls Sara every day to check on her. They were childhood friends in the camp, and his compassion comforts her. She shows him that I am sitting beside her and his face lights up. I am thankful that I made this trip a priority today. 

Two hours later, we find out that the cancer has not returned and yet there is something in her lungs that has lit up. We will watch and see if it grows. Follow-up will be in a couple of months. It seems like good news and we are relieved that there will be a respite from the treatments, as they have left her with difficulty swallowing, eating and walking.

At City of Refuge, relationships such as these are the reason we exist.

This world can be dark and difficult, but if there is a friend to come alongside, an advocate to speak for and be with them, it will make the journey a little easier. It makes my life better too, as I realize that friends like these are eternal and I will be forever grateful that I have come to know these giants of faith and forbearance in the face of incredible hardship and obstacles of health and language barrier. Please remember them in prayer and look for opportunities to say hello and extend your friendship. You, also, will be better for it.

Lori Stoll
Refugee Care Coordinator

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